Please, Just Tell Me Where All of My Shots Are
by time.forgets
Summary: Spoilers for Blame in on the Alcohol; When the song ended and Finn and Puck were trying to carry Artie up the stairs and Britt was still shirtless and wearing Artie's glasses my resolve broke. Smut


**Spoilers for Blame in on the Alcohol.**

**Disclaimer: I own no recognisable characters.**

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><p>Everything was blurring nicely at the edges, the stupid song that had been stuck on repeat for the past ten minutes pounding inside my head and chest. I couldn't tell if the beats were spreading through me from my ears or from my feet so I just went with the feeling until it lead me to a half naked Brittany, tequila bottle acting as her dance partner.<p>

"Hey babe," I slurred, pressing my whole body against hers for just a second before pulling away. Her eyes swam a bit with my vision but I finally focussed on the real two, smirking into the shot glass I was cradling at her dark gaze. There was a reason she usually took off all her clothes and at every previous party it had been me. The way her eyes burnt through my tight dress while she sloppily poured her tequila into my shot glass meant that just because the robot was here didn't meant anything had changed.

Before I could take the shot, cool long fingers hooked over mine. It felt...far away, it felt like she was touching me through layers and I realised how drunk I really was with a smile. The bead of tequila that ran down her mouth, her throat, past the tie to settle between her breasts was taunting me and I snatched the bottle from her hand and took a swig.

"You look super sexy doing that," she murmured, her breath feeling more real against my skin than her fingers had before. I shivered as her ghost hands pulled me over to a group of seats with saddle-shoes and some other blurry people and my complaints were stopped as a slice of lime was placed in front of me. I wanted to taste it, the sharp sour taste seems to snap my tastebuds into working again the way nothing else could...well something else could but I looked at the googoo eyed look cripples was giving Brittany and knew that we were too sober for that to happen.

I was busy planning my epic murder of four eyes McGee when a tongue, a warm, wet, perfectly skilled tongue slid up my neck. I tried to pass off my load moan as a cough but no one seemed to care anyway and I could feel the salt hitting the wet area and sticking and hitting the rest of my skin and falling into my bra. I realised I had to re-evaluate some things when the feeling of it was familiar enough that I barely bit my lip in total horniness as her tongue slid up to catch as much of as she could. I tried to not let stubbles catch me staring at his girlfriend like I wanted to mount her and suck the lime she had in her mouth until she was moaning my name but I wasn't sure how well I was managing it.

I felt the room blurring around the edges and smiled as people yelled around me. A part of me wanted to get up and dance or find Brittany but mostly I felt heavy so I stayed in my chair, laughing as Berry stumbled into a the speakers. When warm air ran across the back of my neck, making my skin crawl from the giant elephant sized butterflies in my stomach I turned around, Brittany's face slowly swimming in and out of focus as I squinted.

"Your turn San!" she said, her voice slurring nowhere near as much as mine as I hastily agreed. By the time she was laid out, her beautiful abs right in front of me for the first time in too long, the same crowd from before was around us, Trouty Mouth in their midst. I giggled but the sound died in my throat as I watched the way her muscles tensed up. When my tongue finally rubbed across the soft skin I felt the low moan she let out and smiled against the delicious hardness of her abs.

"Get your tongue off ma woman!" Artie yelled, cracking up laughing a second later and by the way his words were sounding even more try hard gangster than usual, I knew he wasn't really mad. Even so, I sat back up, my head spinning the best way possible as I moved too fast. Brittany giggled as I shook the salt across the slick trail and before it had finished my tongue was back on her, rubbing circles in a way I knew make her ticklish. She cracked up, watching as I sucked the lime hard but I saw in the darkness of her eyes, the possessive smirk in her smile that she remembered just as well as me when what I just did with my tongue was decidedly lower.

"My turn," I heard as she flipped over herself and I prided myself with remembering that it was what she had said the first party where our usual single body shot turned into multiple, ending behind locked doors with the alcohol forgotten. A smirk, a flick of a tongue against her stained pink lips let me know that she remembered too.

I remembered the night by body shots, the rest a blur of dancing with Sam or making out with him or something else boring. The next one happened as I was dancing; the hard tug of a soft hand to pull me away from whatever bad moves I had been trying to execute. _My turn_ echoed through my head and as she ran her tongue as low across my chest as she possibly could in my dress, tip of her nose following the path and letting me know that she had surpassed stripper drunk to horny drunk. I ignored the catcalls from the few Glee losers who'd seen.

When male Asian started chanting _boob_ over and over she shook the salt onto my heaving chest, the movement making most of the salt miss it's mark. I knew I should have been worried by her little smirk but when she tugged down my dress so my boob was completely out, her tongue running right down between them to get all the salt that had missed. Other Asian yelled like his day had been made and Brittany was taking the shot and looking way too sexy for me to be able to resist making out with1 her. The sharp tang of a lime disrupted my thoughts as she shoved a piece rind first between my lips.

The room spun and the same. fucking. song. was pounding through my head and that was the only reason I had for not caring that Brittany was sucking the lime I held in my mouth in front of both of our boyfriends. I knew she was going to blame it on getting the most juice out like she did after every party but feeling the way her tongue swept all around, her teeth grazing my bottom lip as she bit around it; it was too much and I took a giant gasp in.

The lime juice hit the back of my throat and I started coughing and pushing Brittany's tongue back into her own mouth at the same time. Once she realised what was going on, she started killing herself laughing, barely sparing a glance at me still trying to breathe and put black sexy lace bra back where it belonged in my shirt. Once I'd finally covered myself, the task seeming so much harder when every time I looked down the room span like crazy, I looked over to see her sprawled across the ground, still laughing hard. I cracked up at wheels trying to pick her up without falling out and nearly went to tip his chair the extra inch but instead reached out to pick Brittany back up.

When she immediately bounded off to hug the Asian dude who had been perving on us I felt the tears before I even felt the sadness. What did that guy have that I didn't? Other than cool Asian hair and rock hard abs and amazing arm muscles and beautiful dance moves and a penis. No wonder she liked him better, they were like, dance perfect for each other anyway and I soon felt the tequila sobs start to come up. At other parties if I ever got this drunk I would always just go to Brittany and she would come up with ways to distract me that usually involved taking off even more of her clothes but she was back over in the corner wearing even less with Artie and dancing for him and I just wanted someone near me and Sam was right there and if his hair was longer and he was less broad and had a higher voice and boobs he would totally be Brittany so before I knew what I was doing I was kissing him again, wanting to ignore the shouts of Rachel Berry saying _Spin the Bottle_ because I had kissed Brittany, Sam, Puck, Finn, Mike (okay so I did know his name but Other Asian is way better) and Quinn (just that one time at that one sleepover that one time when the one time Brittany wasn't there and the one time we drank a lot more vodka than we should have and it was one time), and I didn't want to kiss any of the other Glee losers so instead of joining a grinning Sam whose mouth looked even bigger in double vision, I went over to the drinks table and tried to find water somewhere amongst all the alcohol.

I turned around to see Brittany yelling, her boyfriend almost falling out of his stupid chair again, everyone pointing and slapping _my boyfriend_ on the back. It took me a second to grasp the situation but I was feeling slightly more sober, not because I really was but because the song had finally changed and I could think again. I almost went nuts at Brittany right in front of all the Glee kids but it was Brittany and Brittany had kissed whoever she wanted and by now, the image had just kind of numbed over in my brain. As I realised I could however stake a claim on guppy lips, I tried not to think about how I had been kissing him just a moment before. Would she taste me on his lips?

They met slowly then all of a sudden and I could see clearly the way Brittany was running her tongue across his giant lips, the way she always kissed me when the two of us were really drunk. I ignored the clenching in my stomach. I watched intensely as his mouth seemed to mould to hers and I thought back to how well he actually kissed me and I swear just for a flash, I saw their tongues meet. I clenched my legs together. This kiss was not hot at all, it was weird that some other chick was kissing my boyfriend and weird that my boyfriend was kissing my best friend and it wasn't a giant turn on and I definitely wasn't wishing I was sitting on a chair just so I could press down and get rid of some of this fucking pressure.

"No me gusta!" I yelled, after practically pushing them off each other. I didn't want to be that turned on by something so _odd _ever again and Brittany was looking at me like she knew exactly the effect it had taken on me and my eyes couldn't leave hers even when dwarf and dwarfer started dry humping in the middle of the circle.

The song was a surprise change but I was too busy tracing Sam's lips and tasting the tiniest bit of Brittany's lipgloss that was still there. I wanted to go and pull her off Artie but Sam was tapping my butt in time to the music and his tongue was surprisingly agile for such a big mouth and I needed _something_ to take the edge of this frustration and somehow my water had turned into tequila and orange juice and it really wasn't helping how horny I was getting.

When the song ended and Finn and Puck were trying to carry Artie up the stairs and Britt was still shirtless and wearing Artie's glasses my resolve broke.

"Hey B!" I called, still straddling Sam but needing her better, prettier blonde hair closer to me. When her glazed eyes met my dark ones I was sure she knew exactly what I wanted. Her hips seemed to swing even more provocatively than usual and even though he tried to hide it when I looked up, I could tell Sam was drooling over her too. When she sidled up to me and pressed her lips hard against mine with no hesitation I could barely tell who appreciated it more, me or Sam. He literally groaned out loud and while usually him talking turned me off faster than seeing Finn's manboobs, the low sound, the vibrations through his body sent me reeling and I pushed my tongue out to meet hers. She tasted like tequila, something I had come to identify as Artie and Sam and the taste of her got me rolling my hips against Sam, need to feel his wandering hands even more than he knew. When Brittany pulled away to kiss Sam, running her tongue all the way across the whole of his lips she kept her hands on my shoulders, slowly but surely pulling off the constricting dress I had been wearing the whole night. When one arm and boob were out I felt so free, Sam's lip back on mine and creating sensations that they never had before and Brittany's tongue trailing across the top of my bra, slipping under to hit soft skin and making me so glad that Berry and her new boy toy had run out to 'say goodbyes' to everyone.

I could finally feel Sam 'warming up' to our activities and as I ground down, needing friction as Brittany's mouth wandered lower and lower over my breast until she was so close to-

"SAM!" Finnocence called from the top of the stairs and before I could even comprehend the raging inferno in my panties I had pushed Brittany away from me, jumping to sit down beside Sam instead of on top of him, my heart racing and the almost discovery doing even crazier things to my frustration.

Sam slid out of his chair, his face bright red and his eyes jumping everywhere around the room except for meeting my gaze and I could barely wait until he was climbing the stairs before Brittany was jumping onto me, pushing me so I laid down on the chair and making my head spin even more at the sudden movement. Her body however was something no amounts of alcohol could make me forget and after a second my hands were running down her bare sides, one moving to grip the tie, the other moving to the button on her shorts. I didn't want to wait because I didn't know how long the twin dwarves would be away and all the heat from the alcohol I had drunk was concentrating right between my legs and Brittany, despite her state of undress was wearing far too many clothes.

Her shorts were halfway down her calves when we finally got tangled in limbs and the dress Brittany was desperately trying to take off. We hit the floor with a bang and my hand was over Britt's mouth, trying to shush her and hoping that the Rachel Berry fan club had all decided to leave or pass out upstairs.

"Santana," she half whispered half fucking moaned against my collar bone and I worried less and less about what ever Nude Erections groupies were still around and more on the fact that she had successfully brought my dress around my hips and her tongue was once again making a headway towards my breast. When hot hands were unclasping my bra from the back and a burning mouth was wrapped around my nipple, biting before rubbing her tongue across it heavily I forgot to even keep my moans quiet and just hoped to god that anyone wandering around the house would hear the warning moans before coming down here because my dress was now around my knees and my panties were following quickly.

"Britt," I said and tried to ignore the way I basically _panted_ it. I no longer cared about keeping my cool, this was Brittany and I needed her naked and I needed her naked now.

It was like she could read my thoughts because a second later she was standing up, her movement's way to swift and graceful for someone as intoxicated as her, her shorts and panties on the floor a second later and bra chucked halfway across the room as I sat up and pulled her back down to me by her tie.

"Leave the glasses on," I growled into her ear, biting harshly at the lobe and sucking hard. I needed her inside me an hour ago and every second since then was driving me crazier and crazier. "You look so fucking sexy in them."

The moan she let out at my swearing encouraged me and I completely forgot about my insane need for her to fuck me and I let one finger slowly trail between her thighs. My mouth was back on hers, our noses bumping, my eyelashes pressing against the glasses that were a constant reminder of whose girlfriend I was fucking. I didn't want to admit the glasses were so hot not only because it made her look sexy and adorable at the same time but because they were _his_ and I was the one fucking her after the party had packed up while he was safely tucked up in bed. I pushed two fingers into her quickly and pulled her even closer to me by the tie at the same time, the way her hips fucking rolled against my hand made me moan into her mouth and before I had time to even completely grasp the feel of her scorching heat around my fingers she was pushing herself up and down, riding them so hard and letting me know that the whole night she hadn't been thinking about fucking anyone but me.

She tasted like lime still, the zing of it hidden deep in her mouth and the subtle sourness made me need more than her just riding on top of me, it made me want her to shock my tastes buds into tasting anything other than tequila and vodka. With a subtle shift of my hips against her she understood, kneeling up, her dark eyes staring at me so hard as I slid down the cool floor, the heat growing more intense as my mouth inched closer to her core.

I didn't want to sound fucking gay but Brittany didn't smell like a fish down there, she smelt, she tasted so good and sure at first I had been wary of the taste and had brushed my teeth for ten minutes afterwards but now it was her when she needed me the most and it was making her moan while my tongue pressed against her and it was making her come so fucking hard that she screamed my name; and that tasted so fucking good.

"San," she panted from above me, subtly pushing down closer to my mouth and I blamed the alcohol still buzzing through my system that I was spacing out and not fucking her as hard as I could. My tongue brushed through her, parting her and letting my lips seek out her clit. I was too keyed up to make this last, I was too drunk to make this slow so I thrust two fingers in her sucked on her clit hard, smirking against her heat as I heard the way she was moaning and whining above me.

I looked up and had to squeeze my thighs together as the image of her riding me, one hand in her hair and one squeezing her breast met me. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her teeth were sunk deep into her bottom lip in attempt to stop anyone from hearing us. If that wasn't enough to get me completely worked up that I was worried about marking Berry's floor, the way her abs would tense hard and she lifted up, every dip cast into perfect shadows was and I was soon back to only focussing on what my tongue was doing to her, circling her clit in attempt to make her come as soon as possible so I could just get rid of this fucking pressure. It felt like the same song was playing through my head but it was just the same frustration from before and I added a third finger, listening to the way her moans got higher pitched as she gripped all of my fingers with her cunt.

"Hey guys, we're leaving now!" was the only warning I got and with nowhere in a ten foot radius of us to hide I just curled my fingers into Brittany, watching her face scrunch up with pleasure as I played off her kink of being discovered.

Kurt's scream was extremely satisfying as he ran back up the stairs, most likely covering his eyes but Brittany suddenly clenching her legs around my head, the increase in pitch and volume of her moaning, the subtle bucking against my tongue and the way her stomach muscles clenched and unclenched so rapidly above me was even more so and I slowly pulled out of her, moving my tongue until she finally pulled back before collapsing on me, her head sweaty against my neck.

I waited not so patiently as she got her breath back, warm tongue darting out and running across my neck occasionally until I literally couldn't take it and grabbed her hand, pulling it to between my legs and moaning when her fingers ran up and down slick heat. Slowly she pushed a finger into me, my body so worked up that I moaned and arched my back into her sweaty body. Her tongue was still lazily moving up and down my neck and I let out a high pitched whine when she moved to whisper into my ear.

"One."

I was way too keyed up to play any of her games and I tried to roll my hips into her finger, telling her with my strained moans that I needed _more_ but she kept on moving the digit at an achingly slow pace. After a few more thrusts, getting deeper if not faster she pulled completely out, slipping her finger into her mouth and I could only watch and buck my hips into the air as her tongue curled around the skin, licking up the wetness I could see in the harsh basement lights. She leant down, running her tongue up my neck again before stopping at my ear.

"Two," she whispered, before thrusting two fingers into me hard. The moan I let out at finally having something to help the pressure was embarrassingly loud and I just hoped that Berry was passed out in her bed. Just as she started an okay rhythm, my hips lifting up to meet her hand, she slowed down. I growled, hoping to get across and this was so not the time but her fingers felt so good moving slowly, curling and scissoring inside of me and I just bit her shoulder and tried to keep my moans from fucking echoing around the basement.

When she pulled out for a second time I wanted to yell at her, I wanted to reach my hand down my slick body and fuck myself because Brittany obviously had a very different idea about how I needed to get off yet everything I had planned to yell died in my throat as I watched her take her fingers into her mouth once again. The moan she let out around them and the thought of having another finger inside me made my hips buck into hers and I didn't have to wait long until her mouth was running against my neck again, teeth tugging at my earlobe and breathe hot and heavy in my ear.

"Three."

I hadn't even realised I was so close to coming but when she thrust three fingers in me, her thumb pushing almost as hard against my clit and her teeth clamping around a sweet spot on my neck I lost control. I arched my back so high off the cold floor, my head pushing back and probably leaving a bruise. I yelled her name before sinking my teeth into my bottom lip and hoping it would be enough to stop me yelling again. My back stayed arched for ages, my hips bucking every time her fingers shifted inside me and I felt like every nerve in my body had caught fire.

She left tiny wet kisses along my neck until my hips finally stilled long enough for her to slide out her fingers. I whimpered at the sensation but slowly lowered my hips so my back was on the floor once again, my eyes still clenched shut.

"Honey," I vaguely heard Britt singing into my neck. "We have to go home, or at least find our clothes."

I wanted to reply and tell her to forget about going home or moving at all because I was just going to lie in my post-coital bliss for a few more hours, my body feeling like honey except a thousand times heavier. I finally managed to open my eyes, a dopey smile probably lighting up my face at the intense orgasm my best friend had given me; she was getting too good at making me come. I was rewarded for my amazing feat by a peck on the lips and when my brain finally caught up to the rest of my body I looked over at the couch that we had been occupying before. It looked lumpy and like someone, probably me, had spilt some sort of liquid on it but it was closer than a bed and I needed to get my cuddle on.

"But San, I have to brush my teeth" she said before smiling big so I could see. My mind got sidetracked seeing her mouth so close to me though, to what it was doing to me before and I just smiled and rolled my head as she climbed off me, running up the stairs still wearing nothing but a tie and Artie's glasses.

When she returned she was dragging blankets and a pillow with her and I had managed to push myself off the freezing cold floor and was waiting for Britt in my usual after party position, big spoon. Her skin slid perfectly against mine and the blankets were heavy and cool against my burning body. I smiled into her neck feeling how lucky I was to have such an amazing best friend and managed to slur out an _I love you,_ made barely legible by alcohol and sleep. I knew she knew what I meant though by the way she shuffled back into me and pulled my arm tighter against her waist. Her actions said, _I love you too._


End file.
